Yesterday I fell in love with my child's teacher...

Yesterday I fell a little bit in love with my child's teacher. 

It's true!

My sensitive, caring little boy had been excluded from an activity because he didn't have a toy dirt bike like the other two kids playing at the Lego table.

I did everything to try to comfort him... I suggested finding someone else to play with, we tried joining in with matchbox cars instead, but it was no good. The other kids turned their backs on him and said he couldn't play.

I got some tissues for him and he wiped away his snot and tears, and defiantly kept on playing near them.  Not quite with them, but there was no way he was going away.

Most of the time his stubbornness drives me nuts, but yesterday I was so proud of him standing his ground and refusing to give in to the subtle bullying by exclusion.

I talked with him about how he could tell them that their decision had really upset him, but it was hard through the tears and sobs, so he asked me to explain it to them.  They were also stubbornly holding their ground and explained that it just wasn't possible for him to join in because there were only two dirt bikes, and his cars just didn't fit into their dirt bike game.  Clearly I have little sway these days as 'just' a parent... then along came the teacher, my hero.  

I told her that TJ was a little fragile, and was still being excluded from the Lego game, so she sat down with them all and explained the rules... and this is when I kind of fell in love.

She explained that at their school if someone asks to play, then the answer is always YES! And if for some reason the game doesn't work with another person included, then they'd need to change the game.  And then she proceeded to help them find ways to expand and modify their game to include TJ as well.

I made eye contact with her over his head and mouthed the words "thank you", and my heart, still aching from feeling his pain, skipped a beat as she smiled and nodded, and I knew that she knew what I was feeling... and I left knowing that he was in safe, kind, loving hands.


So where's the 'letting go'?


I know from personal experience how hurtful exclusion can be, even as an adult, and how easy it is to run away with a bruised self esteem and low self confidence.  Thanks to my little guy, and the empathy I had for him, I had an opportunity to re-visit the emotions that this subtle, but valid, bullying brings up for me. I allowed the sadness and pain to bubble up on my drive to work, I sat with the emotions, and I breathed through it, and I forgave all of the people involved (including myself) for any times where I have been on the receiving end of this exclusion, and where maybe I had unintentionally caused others to feel this pain too.  



The 'radical forgiveness' path is to see the lessons in the challenges, it asks one to acknowledge that on a soul level we've chosen these experiences to help us on our journey of soul growth and evolution.  Just accepting that can help a shift to occur when we feel less of a victim, and more of a co-creator of our own soul journey. And my lesson as a parent is that my child has also chosen these lessons before he incarnated this time round.  And realising that helps me to help him to find the lesson and learn and grow from it too. 



I'm so grateful that we've found a lovely teacher, and great school, to help us with our learning. 

I have a fantasy...

I have a fantasy.  I could call it a dream, but I think fantasy is probably more accurate.  My fantasy is that in my lifetime I would see a generation of children who only knew about war from the perspective of history.

It's a fantasy because can you imagine how awesome that would be?  That kids would have to talk to their grandparents and great grandparents to learn about what 'war' actually was.


Today in Australia we have a public holiday for ANZAC Day.  It's one day of the year that I struggle with finding a balance between patriotic pride and gratitude for the soldiers, sailors, airmen, nurses, doctors, animals, who have served, and are still serving their country, and my total dismay and disgust about the futility of war.




I understand that it's all about commemorating, not celebrating, but I just wish we were celebrating the fact that there WAS NO WAR!

I can't help but think of the families who still have loved ones deployed in places like Afghanistan.  This week I saw photos of a customer's 19 year old grandson who still has months of his tour left.  19! 19!!!!  He's still a baby, and he's over there wandering dirt roads with a metal detector searching for land mines.  I had a hard time keeping the tears from my eyes...

Do we consider the stress and worry for the family and friends here?  Do we think about the post traumatic stress disorder that our returning troops suffer, sometimes for the rest of their lives?  Do we question the secrecy around what they are subjected to, the atrocities that they witness and are part of, and the way that they often can't share any of that with the people who care about them.  It's crazy.  



And today I'm thinking about another customer who recently lost her young son while he was on tour in Afghanistan. My heart breaks for her and every other mother, father, family member who has lost one of their own.  And my heart breaks for the people who are living in war torn countries around the world RIGHT NOW!

Real people... real children. Real bodies and souls, not just pictures on the television news.


How amazing would it be to live on an Earth where the NEED and DESIRE for war didn't even exist!?  If we were all operating from a place of love, empathy, compassion, tolerance and acceptance instead of greed, fear, hatred, fanaticism, power and ego, how incredibly productive and peaceful would our world be?!

Big Fat Principal Stickers

Oh wow... I just found this incomplete, unpublished little rant from last year, and I've been having a quiet chuckle.  Clearly, I took a few deep breaths and paused before hitting the 'publish' button.


Dear School Principal,
Apparently you have 'big fat Principal stickers' that you reward the 'naughty' kids with when they do something that isn't quite as naughty as usual.

Just wondering how the 'good' kids could join in the fun and get themselves one of those 'big fat' stickers for just being themselves... you know... just being 'good'.

Also wondering if you give any of those 'big fat Principal stickers' to parents occasionally... the parents who do all the 'right things', like making sure that their kids are dressed in the required school uniform every day, like making sure their kids have food in their schoolbags, the ones who listen to them read every night... cos I'd like one if you're giving them out!


And clearly I was less than happy with things that were happening on pretty much a daily basis in my child's "Old School", and now that we have a "New School", and I reflect on how things were when I wrote this little tirade, I can see how angry and disillusioned I was with the education system, and especially with the particular school that he was attending.  

It had got to the point where I would drop him at school and head home to cry.  I cried with frustration because I knew there was a better way.  I cried with guilt for leaving him there.  I cried with disappointment because I'd had such high hopes for a positive school start for him.  

It was my child, a new Reception student, who had worked out that it seemed to only be the naughty kids who got these big stickers.  It was him who named them "Big Fat Principal Stickers".  So we came up with an alternative... "Big Fat Mummy Stickers"... and we rewarded positive behaviour at home and also praised him for the progress that he was making at school that was going largely un-noticed at school.

And then, serendipity!  

I just happened to see a post on Facebook by Carol of Musical Child - Early Learning Through Music, about a brand new school that had just opened, and when I read about their philosophy I KNEW that I needed to know more, and then I was even more distressed thinking about how different it was to my child's experience of schooling.  I assumed that we lived too far away for my child to attend the school, but I made an enquiry anyway, and then attended an information evening, where we heard the Principal speak from her heart about her passion for children and teaching and learning, and that's when I had tears of joy!  Joy and an overwhelming feeling in my heart of 'coming home'.  It turned out that this new school was actually relocated from another school where I'd done my 3rd Year Prac Teaching many many years ago!  No wonder it had felt so "right"! It was the philosophy and ethos that I'd modelled my practice on for my whole teaching career!

And from the moment we all walked into the school for that visit I saw him visibly relax and let go of some of his anxiety.  It obviously felt good to him too.

And 6 weeks into the school year at the "New School" and we're loving it. There's LOTS of travelling that I'm gradually coming to terms with thanks to some great energy coaching with Dream Life Coach, Soli Goodes, and I've had to make changes to my routine and work life... more big thanks to Soli for her help with that.  And big thanks to my family and work colleagues for stepping in, making changes, being flexible, and helping me to make it all work.

I'm still trying to figure out how to fit everything in to my week, and trying to decide if there are things that I'll need to LET GO of. And there are things that I just haven't been able to fit in at all so far, like study that I really want to complete, so I'm currently prioritising.

I'm not quite there yet, but I am working on it! 

And the 'old' Principal never did get to hear my rant about the Big Fat Principal Stickers... and I'm predicting that the 'new' Principal wont need to either.

Nourish

So here it is half way through February and I've finally decided that my focus word for this year is NOURISH.  

nourish [ˈnʌrɪʃ]

vb (tr)

1. (Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Biology) to provide with the materials necessary for life and growth

2. to support or encourage (an idea, feeling, etc.); foster to nourish resentment

[from Old French norir, from Latin nūtrīre to feed, care for]

nurture - The verb was formed after the noun, which first referred (c. 1330) to a person's training or breeding. The word can be traced back to Latin nutritus, meaning "to nourish".

No New Year's Resolution, no crazy declarations at midnight about HUGE changes I was going to make, no fad diets, no radical career change, no drunken promises and then beating myself up later when the resolutions were forgotten by March.

In the lead up to the new year I'd read lots of articles by other people who also disliked the whole resolution thing.  Some talked about goals, or vision boards, or a word to focus on for the year.  I wish I could remember who they were now so I could give them credit!

In fact my partner and I spent New Year's Eve making a shared vision board.  It's actually more of a vision pile than a board.  We found a few pictures in magazines, cut them out, and threw them in a pile.  The discussion around the process, and about the things that we chose was actually the work.  We might actually look at that pile again soon and see how we're going.  It might even make it onto a board before next New Years Eve, or maybe not.

I really liked the idea of the one word focus as a personal vision... like a place for all decisions and actions to stem from.  If they didn't support that one word focus then it wasn't going to be moving me in the right direction.

I played with a few words over a period of a few days...  there was "PEACE", but that's one that I've lived with for a while.  There was "SPACE" when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by family stuff and all I wanted to do was run away on my own for a few hours... there was also "NURTURE", but I kept coming back to "NOURISH".  And just when I'd think it was perhaps a poor choice, I'd hear it somewhere, or see it in an article.  I'm sure it was the universe telling me to just get on with it.

On Friday in my first energy coaching session with Soli, she also mentioned the words nourish & nurture in conversation.  It was then that I knew that it had to be NOURISH!  And on checking the dictionary meaning it seems that the word nurture comes from the Latin word "nutritus" which means to nourish!!  Perfect!



So what does "NOURISH" mean to me?  It's about taking good (better!) care of my body, mind and soul.



It's about eating healthy food, less meat, more vegetables, less fat and drinking more water.

It's about remembering to take my vitamins and supplements more regularly, and getting more sleep.

It's about increasing the amount of physical activity and fresh air that I get during the week.

It's about getting back into some yoga and meditation routines.

It's about making some long overdue appointments with some health professionals.

It's about taking some time to do more things that I really enjoy, like reading and gardening... taking time to smell the roses.

It's about expanding my knowledge, and continuing some study in areas of personal interest.

It's about taking care of my skin and hair.

It's about spending time and energy with like minded people for spiritual growth.

It's about giving myself time, space and permission to be creative, and to daydream and imagine.

And something that became clear for me during my session with Soli, was that by nurturing and nourishing others, I'm open to receive that same nourishment from Source.  And likewise, by taking proper care of myself I'm in a better position to be able to nurture others too.

So no New Year's Resolutions for me... just some well considered and hopefully realistic and achievable ways to maintain my WELLNESS.  Thank you to Soli for also helping me to see that this was my real goal.

Sorting the Sorting Boxes

So today's the day that I've finally got back to sorting and clearing out the Sorting Boxes.

For those of you who might not have seen my "Sorting Boxes" before, here's a photo of them.  My categories were; Charity, Keep but Re-locate, Decide Later, Repairs, Garage Sale/eBay, and Rubbish, but you can make up your own categories to suit what you plan to do with your clutter.

It's been an ongoing process for me as I sift through the stuff that has gathered and accumulated around the house in piles... and as I've discovered little treasures buried deep in boxes from when I moved here in a big hurry about 5 years ago with a small baby and haven't had the energy or motivation to look at before.


The beauty of the Sorting Box method is that you can quickly make some decisions about what to do with the clutter that you are clearing... it means that you don't get distracted from the task by wandering around the house putting things away.  You can even have a box labelled "DECIDE LATER" for those things that you are unsure about, which really speeds up the whole process.


The tricky bit is making sure that you eventually go back to those boxes and actually DO something with the stuff that you've sorted. If it's going to charity, make sure you load up the car and actually do the trip to the charity store fairly quickly... otherwise you'll have a clutter filled car as well!


I love this idea too! Individual baskets for each member of the family where you can temporarily store the stuff that needs to put away in its proper home.

I found it on Pinterest from the following blog...

http://sewmanyways.blogspot.com.au/2010/05/tool-time-tuesdaypvc-time-again.html










Or this idea also from Pinterest...
http://knockoffdecor.com/white-storage-sofa-table/

And I love this one for a hallway... the notice board is a great idea too!  Found via Pinterest from...

http://www.memoriesoncloverlane.com/search/label/My%20Cleaning%20And%20Laundry%20System

And another great idea... pretty sorting boxes with lids that offer a tidy way of keeping track of those transient things like Library Books, and things to go back to Grandma's place...

http://theredchairblog.blogspot.com.au/2009/09/diy-storage-for-transient-items.html

There are lots more great storage and organising ideas on my Pinterest Board...

http://pinterest.com/preciousg/organised/