Yesterday I fell a little bit in love with my child's teacher.
It's true!My sensitive, caring little boy had been excluded from an activity because he didn't have a toy dirt bike like the other two kids playing at the Lego table.
I did everything to try to comfort him... I suggested finding someone else to play with, we tried joining in with matchbox cars instead, but it was no good. The other kids turned their backs on him and said he couldn't play.
I got some tissues for him and he wiped away his snot and tears, and defiantly kept on playing near them. Not quite with them, but there was no way he was going away.
Most of the time his stubbornness drives me nuts, but yesterday I was so proud of him standing his ground and refusing to give in to the subtle bullying by exclusion.
I talked with him about how he could tell them that their decision had really upset him, but it was hard through the tears and sobs, so he asked me to explain it to them. They were also stubbornly holding their ground and explained that it just wasn't possible for him to join in because there were only two dirt bikes, and his cars just didn't fit into their dirt bike game. Clearly I have little sway these days as 'just' a parent... then along came the teacher, my hero.
I told her that TJ was a little fragile, and was still being excluded from the Lego game, so she sat down with them all and explained the rules... and this is when I kind of fell in love.
She explained that at their school if someone asks to play, then the answer is always YES! And if for some reason the game doesn't work with another person included, then they'd need to change the game. And then she proceeded to help them find ways to expand and modify their game to include TJ as well.
I made eye contact with her over his head and mouthed the words "thank you", and my heart, still aching from feeling his pain, skipped a beat as she smiled and nodded, and I knew that she knew what I was feeling... and I left knowing that he was in safe, kind, loving hands.
So where's the 'letting go'?
I know from personal experience how hurtful exclusion can be, even as an adult, and how easy it is to run away with a bruised self esteem and low self confidence. Thanks to my little guy, and the empathy I had for him, I had an opportunity to re-visit the emotions that this subtle, but valid, bullying brings up for me. I allowed the sadness and pain to bubble up on my drive to work, I sat with the emotions, and I breathed through it, and I forgave all of the people involved (including myself) for any times where I have been on the receiving end of this exclusion, and where maybe I had unintentionally caused others to feel this pain too. 
The 'radical forgiveness' path is to see the lessons in the challenges, it asks one to acknowledge that on a soul level we've chosen these experiences to help us on our journey of soul growth and evolution. Just accepting that can help a shift to occur when we feel less of a victim, and more of a co-creator of our own soul journey. And my lesson as a parent is that my child has also chosen these lessons before he incarnated this time round. And realising that helps me to help him to find the lesson and learn and grow from it too. I'm so grateful that we've found a lovely teacher, and great school, to help us with our learning.
